20 Questions to Ask Your Parents When They're Facing a Terminal Illness

Facing a terminal illness is an incredibly challenging time for both the individual and their loved ones. Having meaningful conversations can provide comfort, clarity, and connection. When you reach the end of your life and know that your time is precious, it can motivate people to record stories and memories. We all want to be remembered and leave a legacy with those we love. Equally, when our loved ones are leaving us, we want to spend quality time with them and ensure that we have something to remember them by for the future. This is a time when recording memories and life stories is especially significant. Many families feel motivated to capture the personality and wisdom of their relative who is ill before things go downhill and they enter hospice care. If you find yourself in this situation, here are 20 questions to help capture their memories, wisdom, and wishes.

1. What are your happiest memories from childhood?
2. What life lessons have you learned and want to pass on?
3. What are you most proud of in your life?
4. What was the most challenging moment you faced, and how did you overcome it?
5. Who were the most influential people in your life?
6. What are your favorite family traditions?
7. What values do you hope our family continues to uphold?
8. Is there a particular story about your life you want to be remembered?
9. What were your dreams and goals when you were young?
10. How did you meet Mom/Dad, and what do you remember about your early relationship?
11. What advice do you have for maintaining a loving relationship?
12. What are your favorite books, movies, or songs?
13. What places have been most meaningful to you and why?
14. Are there any unfulfilled dreams or regrets you’d like to share?
15. How would you like to be remembered?
16. What messages or words of wisdom do you have for your grandchildren?
17. What has been the most rewarding part of your life?
18. Can you share some of your favorite family recipes?
19. What traditions or practices have brought you the most peace and joy?
20. What final wishes or arrangements would you like us to honor?

These questions can help ensure that your parents' stories and values are preserved, offering solace and connection during a difficult time. There are many methods for capturing this information. You could create a memory book with photos and anecdotes from your loved one. Alternatively, you could preserve the power of their voice and personality through a service like Storii, which records life stories over the phone. If your loved one likes to write, they could consider something like Storyworth, which allows users to answer questions via email.